Enough About Me ...

As admitted in an earlier blog, I run on a treadmill. Granted, this is a seasonal affair as running in the rain in the dark is not only tough to commit to, it's dangerous. Some danger comes from a few close calls with automobiles not seeing me and let's not even get started about the host of serial killers the northwest has nurtured. But that's not what this blog is on about. I'm here to talk about the zones so brilliantly marked on the JogMaster 2000. You see, there are two key zones, the fat burning zone and the cardio zone, distinguished by heart rate. Seeing as my ass isn't filled with cardio, I'm not quite certain why there is any other zone pointed out. What puzzles me is the concept of not burning fat when you are in the cardio zone. I'm trying to picture what exactly the fat is doing at that point. I'm running on my JogMaster, fat is burning, then my heart rate kicks over to the cardio zone and my fat says, "whoa, hold on boys-pant pant-the game's on. Dude pass the dip," as it sits back collected in my thighs watching me and my heart rate run like an idiot. Probably yelling out pointers and laughing. Or trash talking or singing little jingles, "D Cup! bang bang. D Cup! bang bang"
I've worked out in the fat burning zone, it's truly boring. The heart rate doesn't have to beat very fast to enter the zone. Some crunchy food and a swift walk to take a piss during the ad break ought to get you there in no time.