Enough About Me ...

I had no insight into the ways of pest control. No insight until this morning I read about the Rat Zapper 2000. This was brought to my attention as the Wall Street Journal described of a patent lawsuit on the Rat Zapper 2000 and it's unfortunate run in with the makers of the classic red "V" mouse trap. You know, the ones that chop their head off as they partake in some gouda. I then reflected on how we killed mice back in the day and where this pest murder or "control" is headed. First we have the guillotine approach. Let's lour them in with something yummy and snap! That seemed to be working until little bubba junior snapped his fingers in one. I've done it, it hurts like Brenna Gethers singing a Donna Summer classic. Ouch! Then the hippies tried to convince us we need to learn to live with our pests. Nope, aaaah. Thanks for playing Star Moonshine, your tub of turtle wax is waiting in the back for ya. The glue sheet came by and you watched the poor little critter struggle and starve through its attempts to wriggle out of a resistance that took inertia and cranked it to eleven. That brings us to the little mouse electric chair, Rat Zapper 2000. This contraption designed by an open mind inspired as he watched a gopher die as it came into contact with an electric fence on his ranch. So what's next? I'm thinking lethal injection. Let's take poison and needles and embed them in a cute little, cheesy flavoured house. Squidge. Dead rat. But if that's too far, according to this open letter to Pest Control Operators, you can also simply give them chocolate Ex-Lax and they defecate themselves to death. Now that's creative. Little rat got the shits and died.